Competition and Women

We live in a highly competitive society. And we encourage competition in our children, whether it be with their siblings, or with their peers. We encourage our children to be competitive in sports, in grades, in appearance, and in abilities. This competition thing can quickly spiral out of control into seriously destructive behavior, especially when we allow it to manifest negativity towards each other and ourselves, such as jealousy and insecurity. This pattern starts out so innocently, but high school may as well be prep school for the cutthroat world, ultimately teaching us how to define ourselves (by societal standards), how to judge, and how to hate.

For some reason, this competition thing is on a different level when it is between women. Women are so judgmental, harsh, critical, snotty, catty, disrespectful, undermining to each other. We can be downright brutal and cruel to fellow women. This behavior has got to stop. Women should have the joy and support that comes with loving and accepting other women as friends.

Let me tell you a story about my neighbor...

Ashleigh moved in right next door to me about  2 years ago. She was a southern belle from Georgia, and she was cute as a button. Not only that, she was a Zumba instructor and had a killer body. And she had a picture perfect family, nice house, cute clothes, and she was always perky/happy. I immediately hated her (kidding). But seriously, deep down, I was suspicious. Nobody can be that perfect, I thought. She secretly must be a real bitch...

Of course, I learned very quickly how wrong I was in my initial judgment.

Over the last few years, I have gotten to know Ashleigh. Ashleigh is not only my neighbor, but she is also a friend. Our families spend time together. Our children attend school together. We have several mutual friends.  And, of course, we Zumba together. If I need anything, from an emergency babysitter or to borrow a cup of flour, I know I can count on Ashleigh. Heck, even if a need a girls night and a shoulder to cry on, I know I can also, count on Ashleigh.

What I quickly discovered about Ashleigh is that she is one of the most genuine people I have ever met. She is real. I have never seen Ashleigh put on a front or pretend to be something she is not. Ashleigh is the kindest, sweetest person I have had the pleasure of knowing. I trust Ashleigh. And let me tell you... the reason that Ashleigh is gorgeous is because she is beautiful on the inside, and she honors her body. She eats healthy and exercises. She earned every right to be beautiful and confident.

My point is that we need to let go of our old mindsets and ideologies, and we need to be aware of all of the Ashleigh's in the world. We have to stop being jealous, critical, judgmental and hateful of other women. We have to start loving and appreciating other women for who they are. We have to start appreciating and accepting the strength other women can offer us. Today, I am blessed to have several amazing relationships with some of the most incredible women. I am really thankful that Ashleigh changed my mind.

K