Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that life was a competition. Maybe it's just my warped view on the world, but it seems as if everything in our modern culture comes down to competition.
The definition of competition is two or more parties trying to outdo each other, a rivalry between forces. If life were truly a competition that would mean that only one person could "win". But is this really why we are here, just to see if we can 'one up' each other?Everywhere around us we are constantly being measured up against someone else, something else. How do I measure up? This pressure has got to stop.
And relax, I am not suggesting we do away with sports, or even business. I believe healthy competition is good for evolution, to push us to the next level. I am just saying maybe we should reevaluate some of our core self-sabotaging behaviors. I am talking about when the ones closest to us feel they constantly have to "compete" with us. I'm tired of unhealthy competition among family members. How ridiculous that you feel putting down your own flesh and blood is a reflection of how great you are. I am sick of competition between women. Come on, girls. We can all relate to this...We have either been on the giving end or the receiving end of petty, jealous, immature behavior. We can do better than this. This isn't propelling our species forward into evolution of our greatest selves.
I am not a spiritual guru, but one thing I know for sure is that this isn't how it's supposed to end. This isn't our legacy. You know what some of the antonyms of competition are? Harmony, cooperation, and peace. I don't know about you, but to me, these words are exactly how I think the world should be defined. Harmony, you know, the flow of life, when everything just fits. Cooperation, the act of working together for the common good. Peace, the state of natural order, when no one and nothing is out of place.
I have this theory that no matter what, we have to be who we are. We have to stay in harmony with life, keep up with the flow. I believe that this means we have to let go of things that do not support our harmony and peace. Sometimes, many times, this is unbelievably challenging. This means letting go of closest relationships with people that we love. This means shedding old, outdated ways of thinking. My favorite example of this is racism. Guess what, not liking or approving of someone because of the tone of their skin IS.NOT.OK. Let go of what was passed to you, generation to generation. Let go of behaviors that do not support your positive wellbeing. I love food. But I cannot eat certain major food groups without consequences. I have to make the change and let go of how I think it should be. We have to let go of jobs that drain our soul, slowly, day after day. We have to let go of toxic "friendships". No one said it was going to be easy...
The exciting thing is I see a spiritual "shedding" of sorts going on in the world around me. I see everyone I know struggling in their own way letting go of things that do not serve their wellbeing. I see business and politics, shifting. I hope this is a global movement. The downside is that this process is uncomfortable and sometimes downright ugly, for myself included. But I have to believe that we are going to get there.
xo,
K
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
HIndsight is 20/20
Dear God...What a beautiful day.
I sit here, on my porch, with my coconut milk Brahmin tea latte, drinking in all the beauty of this Colorado spring day. My house sits on a park, nestled in a valley just south of Denver. I watch as a skateboarder rides by. I can see the beautiful Rocky Mountains to my left, beautiful clouds swirling above the peaks. My cute puppy, a 6 month old Doberman, does a little sunbathing on the deck while I write. I hear wind chimes, birds, and rustling leaves. Amazing.
Ok, big deal... This chick is enjoying her tea... But listen. This is a big deal, for me. The act of being present. A concept, so simple, yet I am finding more and more, that it is a actually pretty hard. For me, it requires turning off the noise in my head, not listening to that ugly ego. When I am fully present, I don't have the ability to worry, over-analyze, criticize, or judge. All I can do in a moment of being fully present, is soak in life. Yes, things don't always go the way we think they should, but why do we deny ourselves all of the other beautiful gifts life has to offer by being consumed with our thoughts? Not sure where I heard this, but I love it: "Do not believe everything you think."
I am, admittedly, an over-analyzer. You know the type... Someone that may or may not freak out about anything and everything. I am the BEST at worst-case scenarios. If you ever want a run down of possible outcomes in any given situation, I am your girl. But after 32 years of living way too much in my head, constantly analyzing anything that came my way, I started to realize it was consuming me. My thoughts would race. I was hypercritical of myself and others. I became a perfectionist, and I am not perfect, which created even more stress for me. One day, it dawned on me, that I WANT peace, I NEED peace.
On my own spiritual journey, I have learned that most of our pain comes from our thoughts. We punish ourselves. We get stuck in thinking about the past. We think about how we have messed up or how we have been wronged. Or...We worry too much about the future. If you are like me, you worry about both. It is so draining...
Am I perfect at letting go, being present, and fully enjoying life? Um, no. But I work on it. Every Second. I am letting go of the past. It is over. Yes, I can walk away with some valuable life lessons and apply them to the NOW. But I am not going to live there anymore. I am not going to blame anyone for my circumstances. Nor will I continuously beat myself up for mistakes I have made. I have forgiven myself. It is so easy to beat ourselves up. It's the old hindsight is 20/20 thing. If you would have known better, you would have done better. You are not that person anymore. You are a newer, improved version, capable of anything today, but only if you are open and available to it!
And I have to let go of worrying about the future. I have to trust myself fully. I have to know that I make every decision with my heart. Every decision made today from a place of love and faith will guide me further along my path. I have to drop the self-doubt, that comes with beating myself up for past failures, and know that everything has a purpose, including me. I have to believe that every decision made today will take me exactly where I am supposed to be tomorrow.
If I am as spiritual as I think I am (or desire to be), I have to let go of the worry, or try as best as I can, every day. I have to learn to "go with the flow". I have to know that every situation, personal encounter, every person I meet, every place I go, has some divine purpose. And it does! I think we are taught to believe that if we are "good" nothing bad will happen. This just simply isn't true. We cannot develop, grow, thrive, and expand without proper training. (What if our souls need just as much time, energy, and development as our minds and bodies?) We cannot truly know and appreciate the good, without experiencing some bad.
Thank you for reading!
xo,
K
I sit here, on my porch, with my coconut milk Brahmin tea latte, drinking in all the beauty of this Colorado spring day. My house sits on a park, nestled in a valley just south of Denver. I watch as a skateboarder rides by. I can see the beautiful Rocky Mountains to my left, beautiful clouds swirling above the peaks. My cute puppy, a 6 month old Doberman, does a little sunbathing on the deck while I write. I hear wind chimes, birds, and rustling leaves. Amazing.
Ok, big deal... This chick is enjoying her tea... But listen. This is a big deal, for me. The act of being present. A concept, so simple, yet I am finding more and more, that it is a actually pretty hard. For me, it requires turning off the noise in my head, not listening to that ugly ego. When I am fully present, I don't have the ability to worry, over-analyze, criticize, or judge. All I can do in a moment of being fully present, is soak in life. Yes, things don't always go the way we think they should, but why do we deny ourselves all of the other beautiful gifts life has to offer by being consumed with our thoughts? Not sure where I heard this, but I love it: "Do not believe everything you think."
I am, admittedly, an over-analyzer. You know the type... Someone that may or may not freak out about anything and everything. I am the BEST at worst-case scenarios. If you ever want a run down of possible outcomes in any given situation, I am your girl. But after 32 years of living way too much in my head, constantly analyzing anything that came my way, I started to realize it was consuming me. My thoughts would race. I was hypercritical of myself and others. I became a perfectionist, and I am not perfect, which created even more stress for me. One day, it dawned on me, that I WANT peace, I NEED peace.
On my own spiritual journey, I have learned that most of our pain comes from our thoughts. We punish ourselves. We get stuck in thinking about the past. We think about how we have messed up or how we have been wronged. Or...We worry too much about the future. If you are like me, you worry about both. It is so draining...
Am I perfect at letting go, being present, and fully enjoying life? Um, no. But I work on it. Every Second. I am letting go of the past. It is over. Yes, I can walk away with some valuable life lessons and apply them to the NOW. But I am not going to live there anymore. I am not going to blame anyone for my circumstances. Nor will I continuously beat myself up for mistakes I have made. I have forgiven myself. It is so easy to beat ourselves up. It's the old hindsight is 20/20 thing. If you would have known better, you would have done better. You are not that person anymore. You are a newer, improved version, capable of anything today, but only if you are open and available to it!
And I have to let go of worrying about the future. I have to trust myself fully. I have to know that I make every decision with my heart. Every decision made today from a place of love and faith will guide me further along my path. I have to drop the self-doubt, that comes with beating myself up for past failures, and know that everything has a purpose, including me. I have to believe that every decision made today will take me exactly where I am supposed to be tomorrow.
If I am as spiritual as I think I am (or desire to be), I have to let go of the worry, or try as best as I can, every day. I have to learn to "go with the flow". I have to know that every situation, personal encounter, every person I meet, every place I go, has some divine purpose. And it does! I think we are taught to believe that if we are "good" nothing bad will happen. This just simply isn't true. We cannot develop, grow, thrive, and expand without proper training. (What if our souls need just as much time, energy, and development as our minds and bodies?) We cannot truly know and appreciate the good, without experiencing some bad.
Thank you for reading!
xo,
K
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Mother Teresa
My big point of meditation has been what are the big spiritual lessons we are here to learn. What is this thing called life really for? This may sound radical, but I don't believe we are here to suffer. I don't believe we are here to self-destruct as people, as a species, as a planet. I believe we are here to overcome our circumstances, to rise above our obstacles, to walk the Refiner's Fire. We are here to experience these spiritual lessons in human form. So I have asked God, many times, to really know the whys. I asked for it. So when seemingly bad things happen, I now try to look for the lesson. I figure the quicker I learn the lessons, the less painful it will be. Ok, God, I'm listening...
So my recurring situation/feeling/lesson is how to cope with high levels of negativity in those that I love around me. The modern word for this is toxic people. I hate this label because it's so nasty sounding. And unless we are a modern saint, we all carry some level of anger/hate/negativity/prejudice. It's part of the human experience, part of the grand lesson. We all get damaged, and then thru love, we become whole again. I have a soft spot in my heart for people that are hurting, as most of us do. I am one/have been one of those people. BUT, I have a huge problem when hurt people feel it's ok to put their pain on others or reactively lash out at anyone and everyone that so much as flinches. The more hurting you are as a person, the more sensitive those wounds will be. BUT, at no point does that give us permission to "hit" back.
So back to those wounds... When we spend so much time trying to protect those wounds, we end up closing ourselves off, from the people we love, to the blessings available to us. You know what's funny, some of the most negative people I know also have the biggest hearts. And negativity is hard to break; you have to make a conscious effort, constantly. We have to heal our wounds, and move forward in love.
Here is an excerpt from my journal on 4/16/14:
"I feel like I have a huge heart. I want to love everything and everyone. I love to love, because love feels good. I wish life was always warm and fuzzy, filled with unicorns and roses, and all the other clichés. So let me rephrase: I think the lesson is learning how to love without getting hurt."
I forgot all about that entry. And this very topic has been on my heart so much this week. So, well played God, well played. I would now edit the lesson to being: Learning how to love without becoming too wounded to participate in life. Or, Learning how to love without getting or giving hurt. Anyway, you get the idea... Become Mother Teresa.
I have a feeling this is a big lesson. That's a tall order. First, I have to own my negativity, be responsible for my energy, and not put that on anyone else. I am not Mother Teresa yet, so I have to protect myself, to some degree, from others' negativity. Yes, I want to save the world with love but I can't do it if the other party in any given relationship fights me tooth and nail on the love thing. I HAVE to keep love in my heart. I HAVE to. It's my only hope, the secret to my salvation. There are other people that want love, they want the love I have to give, and they reciprocate that love. It's an awesome feeling to have that. To have a family, circle, a tribe of friends picked so perfectly for me, yet so diverse and widespread. It's my personal story, my own funny sitcom. I can't waste my precious time on negativity. We are called to love. We were created to love. Turn the other cheek. Don't lash out when people hurt you, but be sure to ALWAYS give your love to those that love you back!
xo,
K
So my recurring situation/feeling/lesson is how to cope with high levels of negativity in those that I love around me. The modern word for this is toxic people. I hate this label because it's so nasty sounding. And unless we are a modern saint, we all carry some level of anger/hate/negativity/prejudice. It's part of the human experience, part of the grand lesson. We all get damaged, and then thru love, we become whole again. I have a soft spot in my heart for people that are hurting, as most of us do. I am one/have been one of those people. BUT, I have a huge problem when hurt people feel it's ok to put their pain on others or reactively lash out at anyone and everyone that so much as flinches. The more hurting you are as a person, the more sensitive those wounds will be. BUT, at no point does that give us permission to "hit" back.
So back to those wounds... When we spend so much time trying to protect those wounds, we end up closing ourselves off, from the people we love, to the blessings available to us. You know what's funny, some of the most negative people I know also have the biggest hearts. And negativity is hard to break; you have to make a conscious effort, constantly. We have to heal our wounds, and move forward in love.
Here is an excerpt from my journal on 4/16/14:
"I feel like I have a huge heart. I want to love everything and everyone. I love to love, because love feels good. I wish life was always warm and fuzzy, filled with unicorns and roses, and all the other clichés. So let me rephrase: I think the lesson is learning how to love without getting hurt."
I forgot all about that entry. And this very topic has been on my heart so much this week. So, well played God, well played. I would now edit the lesson to being: Learning how to love without becoming too wounded to participate in life. Or, Learning how to love without getting or giving hurt. Anyway, you get the idea... Become Mother Teresa.
I have a feeling this is a big lesson. That's a tall order. First, I have to own my negativity, be responsible for my energy, and not put that on anyone else. I am not Mother Teresa yet, so I have to protect myself, to some degree, from others' negativity. Yes, I want to save the world with love but I can't do it if the other party in any given relationship fights me tooth and nail on the love thing. I HAVE to keep love in my heart. I HAVE to. It's my only hope, the secret to my salvation. There are other people that want love, they want the love I have to give, and they reciprocate that love. It's an awesome feeling to have that. To have a family, circle, a tribe of friends picked so perfectly for me, yet so diverse and widespread. It's my personal story, my own funny sitcom. I can't waste my precious time on negativity. We are called to love. We were created to love. Turn the other cheek. Don't lash out when people hurt you, but be sure to ALWAYS give your love to those that love you back!
xo,
K
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