Recently, one of my girlfriends and I were talking about a dilemma she was having. At the end of our conversation, she said, "My mind is telling me one thing, and my heart, another. I don't know which to listen to."
The old me would have immediately answered before she had the chance to finish her last word, "...I don't know which to listen t..."
I would have shouted, "MIND." I absolutely, unequivocally would have defended logic with intense fervor, as the answer to all of life's problems. It didn't matter. Black was black, white is white. There is no grey.
I used to think there were basically two types of personalities in this world, logical and emotional. I thought logical people were more highly evolved "thinkers" of the world, and I thought emotional people were just super-creative, artistic "out there" kind of people. Now don't get me wrong, I have always appreciated art: culinary art, beauty, music, literature, dance, theater, etc. It was just so foreign to me. I didn't have that spark, that inner fire; the passion to create love and beauty.
I've always been logical. Too logical. I was always drawn to math because it was so finite, so black and white. In logic, there is only one way. I have been called Spock, cold, detached, analytical, "too serious", complicated, perfectionist, and this list goes on. I like things I can see for myself, and have never understood the abstract in life. I have always loved reading (non-fiction, of course).
Books were my true escape. I loved the knowledge and lessons people spread through books. Yet somehow I was always in awe of these creative writers that could express such beauty. My language was so robotic.
I loved music too. All kinds of music, from Blues to country, to rock, to Latin, to hip-hop. It amazed me how musicians could write with such imagery about the meaning of life (from love and friendships, to heartache and despair), and still make it relevant and cool. I have never been "cool". I know now in my personal reflections it was because I was unrelatable and detached. I loved watching musicians, especially local musicians in a smoky bar that do it for their love, not for the money. I could never sing, play an instrument, and definitely not write lyrics. Again, amazingly gifted people, and I could not relate.
My perspective has shifted, as I now see the Creative ones are more highly evolved. They get the power of beauty and love. How frustrating it must be to deal with the knuckleheads of the world like me that don't get it. Sadly, us knuckleheads are stubborn and unwavering and think we are "right" about the world.
Hundreds of years ago, (and centuries prior) we valued people with such gifts. We considered them Elders - they were the medicine men, poets, humanitarians, philosophers, spiritual leaders, old politicians (that gave a shit), and true scientists (Einstein) of the world. We listened to their capacity to meld the mind and the heart, which is a lost art on the world today. It seems creativity is increasingly becoming tainted with the illusion of fame, power, and wealth, even in our politicians. But this isn't what creativity is for. Philosophers can feel the emotion of life, and pair it with the scientific knowledge, to create the deepest of meaningful, wise thoughts. Chefs innately understand the profound healing power of real, whole food made with love. Painters know the healing power of just being with the world, appreciating the beauty around us, and documenting it from their unique perspective. Musicians get how moving wisdom is when paired with a beautiful melody. they know the healing power of creating a culture that values appreciation of what each of us can create and bring to the table.
I now realize after "checking myself" that I was wrong. Deeply, profoundly, insanely wrong. I'm glad I learned this lesson before this particular conversation so that I could answer, "Heart. Baby Girl, listen to your heart." The Creative ones have it right...
PS - Did you know that some of the antonyms of passion are suffering, hate, aversion, and antipathy? I had no idea either.
K
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
My Tipping Point
Those of you that are close to me know (or may suspect) that I have had a drastic change in my perspective of the world. I can't explain it, and I am not sure when it happened, but I do know that I see that we don't have to live in such dysfunction of the world. My tipping point was a recent trip to NYC that my husband surprised me with on our 5th anniversary. My sweet husband had planned on a nice, relaxing weekend away, but it ended up turning my world upside down in the most divine way. Its amazing how you receive exactly what you need, when you are open to receiving it. I won't say that I have always been cynical, maybe just jaded. And it became increasingly worse as I grew up and saw the negativity in the world and in people. I didn't have hate, necessarily, I just chose to turn a blind eye, thinking there was nothing I could do. But NYC showed me a macrocosm of the world, and it that macrocosm, I saw love, acceptance, perseverance, temperance, and human strength laced with true compassion and surprisingly, I found NYC to be mostly void of Ego. Excuse my language, but it is the only phrase that fits, people gave a shit. People supported their neighbors, they supported their local business owners, and businesses genuinely appreciated consumers choosing to shop/dine with them. I have seen that this has become such a lost idea on the rest of America that I have had the privilege to visit. We (definitely including myself) have become apathetic to our fellow man.
My trip to NYC softened my hardened heart. I realized that if one of us is failing, we are all failing. This occurs within our own families, neighborhoods, schools, communities, states, nations, and the world. That means we are failing at a disgusting rate. It may seem like a massive undertaking to "save the world" but I believe it all begins with a massive paradigm shift. Its our responsibility (especially those that know better) to spread love, not hate; to spread acceptance, not prejudice. People will definitely question your motives, which can be discouraging. It can make you want to curl up into your apathy again, but we can't do that if we care about the world we are creating for our children and grandchildren. So many people operate outside of integrity and honor, but love them anyway. Turn the other cheek. I don't mean get taken advantage of, I mean give them the opportunity to see your genuine care and concern, so that they too can "melt" their apathy away. And you mostly will not be acknowledged for doing good and treating people better than they treat you, which doesn't matter because it isn't about you (lose your ego, folks). And you may never see the lives that you can and will touch, but know that the hardest people outside sometimes are the softest inside, in need of the most love and support because they are hurting. And you can know and feel good about the fact that hopefully, somewhere deep down, you touched them. Melting the icy-ness of the world begins with you and me.
I want to share with you this quote that was given to me by a dear friend that came into my life over a decade ago. Susan, you believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, and I am forever grateful to you for that. I lost touch with Susan many years ago, but my hope is that we someday cross path, and this post is dedicated to her.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love, Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'
I have lost my fear. It doesn't mean I am perfect; to err is human. What I do know is that I want to do better, to be better, and to lift people up where they are. I appreciate you reading my humble writings,
K
My trip to NYC softened my hardened heart. I realized that if one of us is failing, we are all failing. This occurs within our own families, neighborhoods, schools, communities, states, nations, and the world. That means we are failing at a disgusting rate. It may seem like a massive undertaking to "save the world" but I believe it all begins with a massive paradigm shift. Its our responsibility (especially those that know better) to spread love, not hate; to spread acceptance, not prejudice. People will definitely question your motives, which can be discouraging. It can make you want to curl up into your apathy again, but we can't do that if we care about the world we are creating for our children and grandchildren. So many people operate outside of integrity and honor, but love them anyway. Turn the other cheek. I don't mean get taken advantage of, I mean give them the opportunity to see your genuine care and concern, so that they too can "melt" their apathy away. And you mostly will not be acknowledged for doing good and treating people better than they treat you, which doesn't matter because it isn't about you (lose your ego, folks). And you may never see the lives that you can and will touch, but know that the hardest people outside sometimes are the softest inside, in need of the most love and support because they are hurting. And you can know and feel good about the fact that hopefully, somewhere deep down, you touched them. Melting the icy-ness of the world begins with you and me.
I want to share with you this quote that was given to me by a dear friend that came into my life over a decade ago. Susan, you believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, and I am forever grateful to you for that. I lost touch with Susan many years ago, but my hope is that we someday cross path, and this post is dedicated to her.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love, Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'
I have lost my fear. It doesn't mean I am perfect; to err is human. What I do know is that I want to do better, to be better, and to lift people up where they are. I appreciate you reading my humble writings,
K
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
My Scary Health Care Exp - Part 2
This is a "sort of" part two to my earlier post, as I feel I left out some pertinent information.
The Mind:
“The mind is a powerful force. It can enslave us or empower us. It can plunge us into the depths of misery or take us to the heights of ecstasy. Learn to use the power wisely.”
I cannot begin to express the truth in this quote. My mind became so toxic and my thinking became so distorted. I would never want anyone to have to go to the depths of hell that I have been. When you become stressed, your cortisol levels increase, which depresses the growth of brain cells. So not only was I poisoning my brain with drugs (prescriptions) but my stress about the situation was causing it to get worse. My mind was just as sick, if not worse, than my body. It wasn't until I chose to make an conscious effort towards being healed, that progress was truly made. If you have any issues going on in your life that are making you unhealthy in any way, the healing starts with you and your thoughts.
The Body:
“Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind and soul.”
When I physically began to decline, I was devastated. I had always been into competitive sports. Not only that, I was my own worst enemy in terms of competition. To me, it was always about the end goal, at any cost. It wasn't until I was forced into yoga (I HATED yoga), that I learned the power of its healing capabilities. It taught me that the lesson is in being still, breathing, letting go, and appreciating the transitional periods, not just the destination. I had always thought I would be judged for not being flexible, or that I was too fat, or whatever, but truth is, everyone in your yoga class is there for themselves and they couldn't care less about what you are doing. Yoga taught me to connect with the world, with my Creator, and ultimately myself. I cannot even express the divine wisdom in yoga.
“Possessing strength and stillness is a sign of balance: power and serenity combined in one moment. It’s challenging enough to hold either one, let alone both, in perfect equipoise, but that is the goal if we want to be balanced.”
I also discovered the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda. Ayurveda is the traditional Hindu system of medicine, which is based on the idea of balance in bodily systems and uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing. It's basis is that we each have our own "bodily constitution" which we must acknowledge and nourish for optimum health. I would encourage any of you with health issues to research the fascinating power of this ancient medicine.
The Soul:
"Your soul - that inner quiet space - is yours to consult. It will always guide you in the right direction."
In my deepest, darkest hell I found light at the end of the tunnel. I learned to listen to myself. I learned to drop my ego, and learned ultimately we are here to learn the lesson and power of love. In love is goodness and light, and that is the answer to all of life's questions. It truly is about seeing the good in people and treating them as that good person you see underneath their facade. Yes, people will hurt you and disappoint you, but when you look deep inside yourself and connect to life in such a manner, you can clearly see that people hurt you because they hurt from something. You must understand that people disappoint you because they are disappointed in something.When you look hard enough, you can see the image they are portraying to the world to protect their own hearts.If you treat them as the good person they are, they will open up and grow themselves. I have seen it first hand, and it is an amazing thing to witness when you see the cold melt off of a person. Can you imagine the world if we all stopped taking our pain out on others?
In short, healing begins with the DESIRE to heal and it is carried out by the COMMITMENT to yourself. There are many types of illnesses plaguing the wonderful people of this world. And I can attest that the power truly comes from within.
And be the light and support of those that are hurting most (and are hurtful), for they are the ones that NEED your love. I would not be here today had I not had the amazing support system that I do. I owe my life to the people whom always had my best interest in mind. My husband who put up with me for YEARS in this hell, my daughter who briefly lost her mother and still somehow is turning out to be an amazing soul, my family that never questioned me, my friends that stood by my side when I wasn't myself, and the very few health and wellness professionals that showed me the way.
K
The Mind:
“The mind is a powerful force. It can enslave us or empower us. It can plunge us into the depths of misery or take us to the heights of ecstasy. Learn to use the power wisely.”
I cannot begin to express the truth in this quote. My mind became so toxic and my thinking became so distorted. I would never want anyone to have to go to the depths of hell that I have been. When you become stressed, your cortisol levels increase, which depresses the growth of brain cells. So not only was I poisoning my brain with drugs (prescriptions) but my stress about the situation was causing it to get worse. My mind was just as sick, if not worse, than my body. It wasn't until I chose to make an conscious effort towards being healed, that progress was truly made. If you have any issues going on in your life that are making you unhealthy in any way, the healing starts with you and your thoughts.
The Body:
“Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind and soul.”
When I physically began to decline, I was devastated. I had always been into competitive sports. Not only that, I was my own worst enemy in terms of competition. To me, it was always about the end goal, at any cost. It wasn't until I was forced into yoga (I HATED yoga), that I learned the power of its healing capabilities. It taught me that the lesson is in being still, breathing, letting go, and appreciating the transitional periods, not just the destination. I had always thought I would be judged for not being flexible, or that I was too fat, or whatever, but truth is, everyone in your yoga class is there for themselves and they couldn't care less about what you are doing. Yoga taught me to connect with the world, with my Creator, and ultimately myself. I cannot even express the divine wisdom in yoga.
“Possessing strength and stillness is a sign of balance: power and serenity combined in one moment. It’s challenging enough to hold either one, let alone both, in perfect equipoise, but that is the goal if we want to be balanced.”
I also discovered the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda. Ayurveda is the traditional Hindu system of medicine, which is based on the idea of balance in bodily systems and uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing. It's basis is that we each have our own "bodily constitution" which we must acknowledge and nourish for optimum health. I would encourage any of you with health issues to research the fascinating power of this ancient medicine.
The Soul:
"Your soul - that inner quiet space - is yours to consult. It will always guide you in the right direction."
In my deepest, darkest hell I found light at the end of the tunnel. I learned to listen to myself. I learned to drop my ego, and learned ultimately we are here to learn the lesson and power of love. In love is goodness and light, and that is the answer to all of life's questions. It truly is about seeing the good in people and treating them as that good person you see underneath their facade. Yes, people will hurt you and disappoint you, but when you look deep inside yourself and connect to life in such a manner, you can clearly see that people hurt you because they hurt from something. You must understand that people disappoint you because they are disappointed in something.When you look hard enough, you can see the image they are portraying to the world to protect their own hearts.If you treat them as the good person they are, they will open up and grow themselves. I have seen it first hand, and it is an amazing thing to witness when you see the cold melt off of a person. Can you imagine the world if we all stopped taking our pain out on others?
In short, healing begins with the DESIRE to heal and it is carried out by the COMMITMENT to yourself. There are many types of illnesses plaguing the wonderful people of this world. And I can attest that the power truly comes from within.
And be the light and support of those that are hurting most (and are hurtful), for they are the ones that NEED your love. I would not be here today had I not had the amazing support system that I do. I owe my life to the people whom always had my best interest in mind. My husband who put up with me for YEARS in this hell, my daughter who briefly lost her mother and still somehow is turning out to be an amazing soul, my family that never questioned me, my friends that stood by my side when I wasn't myself, and the very few health and wellness professionals that showed me the way.
K
My Scary Experience in the Healthcare System
I am not sure if I am ready to share this story, but with the increasing talk of healthcare and Obamacare, I feel compelled to tell the horror that I went through in hopes that it can help others to see the light.
I have had back pain since high school. I ran track, participated in cheerleading and basketball. My father owned a custom home construction business in which I helped almost every day of my life doing some sort of labor. But guess what? I also had scoliosis. Not bad enough to be debilitating, but it did cause pain.
I got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 23. I gained 75 pounds during my pregnancy and I felt it in my body, especially my already weak back. I gave birth to a healthy baby and started running 5 miles a day to lose the weight (which I did). I have always been somewhat of an over-achiever. I have worked in restaurants since the age of 15. When I went to college, I worked two jobs. And into my twenties, I continued to burn the candle at both ends.
At the age of 27, my back became increasingly painful. I went to my GP who prescribed me muscle relaxers and pain killers. I still tried to maintain my crazy lifestyle, simply numbing my pain with prescriptions. I began to feel the effects mentally. My doctor put me on anti-depressants. I continued to work crazy hours, workout too hard, and not eat nutritious foods. I have been a serial dieter for as long as I can remember. Then I started to gain weight even though I was severely restricting my diet and of course my back pain was just getting worse and radiating into my glutes and legs. My GP put me on a few different diet pills to help me lose the weight (they never helped long term btw). I also started getting crazy migraines that wiped me out for days at a time, so of course I have been given just about every migraine medication available. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall, of course. As my fatigue increased, I came to rely on the Adderall and diet pills for enough energy to simply get me through the day. I was literally becoming a shell of my former self.
I ignored the pain as much as I could and kept on living. My GP felt there was nothing he could do so he sent me to a neurologist for my migraines and an orthopedic surgeon for my pain. The neurologist ordered an MRI on my brain. I had significant scar tissue from my constant migraines. My neurologist of course, just prescribed more and more medication. The orthopedic surgeon began doing cortisone injections in the lumbar spine. Again, just masking everything with western medicine.
After two years of cortisone shots, I was told they couldn't give me anymore shots because I had received too many. I began shaking constantly. I was in the worst chronic pain. I started passing out and/or just collapsing while remaining conscious. My body was so weak even though I looked mostly normal to an outsider. I had to quit my job because I was sick more than I felt well. I would still bring my laptop home and work in my bed, attempting to meet my deadlines (which I did). I was so ashamed of who I had become that I would hide my pain and my symptoms as best as I could.
After still no results and increasing pain, and increasing mental/physical fatique, my GP sent me to a rheumatologist. He met with me for 5 minutes and diagnosed me with lupus. Stupid me and my lifetime of conditioning by the system, trusted this guy. He put me on some of the nastiest medication you can imagine. One of them is prescribed to people that have received organ transplants; the drug's purpose was to suppress the immune system so the body does not reject the organ. At this point I was on 15 different prescriptions. I was dying a slow painful death.
I stayed on the toxic drugs for a year after being "diagnosed" with lupus. Finally, I made an appointment with National Jewish Hospital because I knew something was very wrong. I had lost my memory for months at a time during this period. I was miserable. My poor friends and family had to deal with me as a zombie for years. I am angry at the time I lost with my growing daughter. I even contemplated suicide, as I could not imagine living the rest of my life in such a condition.
National Jewish did the most extensive health analysis and found nothing wrong except that my liver function was low. Huh. Wonder if that is because my liver was damaged from processing the high levels of poison for years. Not only that, I had developed arthritis in many parts of my body (in my 20s).
I sick and tired of being sick and tired. I made a decision to get healthy on my own. I started to read books on health and wellness. I read books on anti-inflammatory diets. I read books on lupus, detoxing, autoimmune diseases, and memoirs. I spent any free time I had when I wasn't in bed miserable, seeking knowledge to heal myself. I didn't know how I would heal myself, but I felt it was possible.
I found an amazing circle of medical professionals that do not believe in drugs. They believe in holistic healing power of the mind and body. I found an amazing chiropractor that deals with accupressure and trigger points. My body was plagued with trigger points. If you don't know what those are, they are intense, painful knots in the muscle tissue. I began massage therapy. As I got better, I was able to do more in terms of working out and strengthening my body. I could no longer run, so I had to resort to boring yoga (or so I thought). My body was so out of balance that was all I could do.
I changed my eating habits and learned the effects of nutrition on the body. I found an amazing MD that believes in the healing power of the gut when given the right nutrition. I stopped eating processed food filled with chemicals. I started eating fruits and vegetables as the main source of my diet, mixed in with lean, organic protein.
Here I am today at almost 32 years old, and I almost feel normal again. I don't sleep during the day and have become a productive human being. I am able to go on walks with my friends and my dog. I am living my life again, and due to my experiences, I fully appreciate life in ways my old self could never imagine.
So this is my cautionary tale. If you think that the powers that be have your best interest, I would encourage you to seek this out for yourself. About 80% of the FDAs resources are used toward the approval of new drugs. Please know that only about 5% is used for drug safety research. Nearly half of the $400 million dollar budget for the FDA is supplied by the pharmaceutical industry. We are merely dollar signs to the industry, which wants you in the system for revenue and aims to keep you in the system for increasingly more revenue. Ninety percent of health care professionals are rewarded by pharmaceutical companies for pushing drugs. But there are about 10% who believe in true wellness. If this is happening with the FDA, you can bet it's not the only corrupt section of the government.
It's time to stand up and unite against such mass destruction of the people. We do not have to live like this; be subjected to such deceit. If we could use the resources on productive methods instead of destructive methods, our world would be much happier and healthier. I am very close to the medicaid system and welfare system. It is designed to oppress people, not lift them up. There is a better way. The way this country is moving is absolutely disgusting. I am sharing this story not for attention but to open peoples eyes. I am deeply ashamed of what I have been through, but if it helps one person, it is all worth it.
K
I have had back pain since high school. I ran track, participated in cheerleading and basketball. My father owned a custom home construction business in which I helped almost every day of my life doing some sort of labor. But guess what? I also had scoliosis. Not bad enough to be debilitating, but it did cause pain.
I got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 23. I gained 75 pounds during my pregnancy and I felt it in my body, especially my already weak back. I gave birth to a healthy baby and started running 5 miles a day to lose the weight (which I did). I have always been somewhat of an over-achiever. I have worked in restaurants since the age of 15. When I went to college, I worked two jobs. And into my twenties, I continued to burn the candle at both ends.
At the age of 27, my back became increasingly painful. I went to my GP who prescribed me muscle relaxers and pain killers. I still tried to maintain my crazy lifestyle, simply numbing my pain with prescriptions. I began to feel the effects mentally. My doctor put me on anti-depressants. I continued to work crazy hours, workout too hard, and not eat nutritious foods. I have been a serial dieter for as long as I can remember. Then I started to gain weight even though I was severely restricting my diet and of course my back pain was just getting worse and radiating into my glutes and legs. My GP put me on a few different diet pills to help me lose the weight (they never helped long term btw). I also started getting crazy migraines that wiped me out for days at a time, so of course I have been given just about every migraine medication available. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall, of course. As my fatigue increased, I came to rely on the Adderall and diet pills for enough energy to simply get me through the day. I was literally becoming a shell of my former self.
I ignored the pain as much as I could and kept on living. My GP felt there was nothing he could do so he sent me to a neurologist for my migraines and an orthopedic surgeon for my pain. The neurologist ordered an MRI on my brain. I had significant scar tissue from my constant migraines. My neurologist of course, just prescribed more and more medication. The orthopedic surgeon began doing cortisone injections in the lumbar spine. Again, just masking everything with western medicine.
After two years of cortisone shots, I was told they couldn't give me anymore shots because I had received too many. I began shaking constantly. I was in the worst chronic pain. I started passing out and/or just collapsing while remaining conscious. My body was so weak even though I looked mostly normal to an outsider. I had to quit my job because I was sick more than I felt well. I would still bring my laptop home and work in my bed, attempting to meet my deadlines (which I did). I was so ashamed of who I had become that I would hide my pain and my symptoms as best as I could.
After still no results and increasing pain, and increasing mental/physical fatique, my GP sent me to a rheumatologist. He met with me for 5 minutes and diagnosed me with lupus. Stupid me and my lifetime of conditioning by the system, trusted this guy. He put me on some of the nastiest medication you can imagine. One of them is prescribed to people that have received organ transplants; the drug's purpose was to suppress the immune system so the body does not reject the organ. At this point I was on 15 different prescriptions. I was dying a slow painful death.
I stayed on the toxic drugs for a year after being "diagnosed" with lupus. Finally, I made an appointment with National Jewish Hospital because I knew something was very wrong. I had lost my memory for months at a time during this period. I was miserable. My poor friends and family had to deal with me as a zombie for years. I am angry at the time I lost with my growing daughter. I even contemplated suicide, as I could not imagine living the rest of my life in such a condition.
National Jewish did the most extensive health analysis and found nothing wrong except that my liver function was low. Huh. Wonder if that is because my liver was damaged from processing the high levels of poison for years. Not only that, I had developed arthritis in many parts of my body (in my 20s).
I sick and tired of being sick and tired. I made a decision to get healthy on my own. I started to read books on health and wellness. I read books on anti-inflammatory diets. I read books on lupus, detoxing, autoimmune diseases, and memoirs. I spent any free time I had when I wasn't in bed miserable, seeking knowledge to heal myself. I didn't know how I would heal myself, but I felt it was possible.
I found an amazing circle of medical professionals that do not believe in drugs. They believe in holistic healing power of the mind and body. I found an amazing chiropractor that deals with accupressure and trigger points. My body was plagued with trigger points. If you don't know what those are, they are intense, painful knots in the muscle tissue. I began massage therapy. As I got better, I was able to do more in terms of working out and strengthening my body. I could no longer run, so I had to resort to boring yoga (or so I thought). My body was so out of balance that was all I could do.
I changed my eating habits and learned the effects of nutrition on the body. I found an amazing MD that believes in the healing power of the gut when given the right nutrition. I stopped eating processed food filled with chemicals. I started eating fruits and vegetables as the main source of my diet, mixed in with lean, organic protein.
Here I am today at almost 32 years old, and I almost feel normal again. I don't sleep during the day and have become a productive human being. I am able to go on walks with my friends and my dog. I am living my life again, and due to my experiences, I fully appreciate life in ways my old self could never imagine.
So this is my cautionary tale. If you think that the powers that be have your best interest, I would encourage you to seek this out for yourself. About 80% of the FDAs resources are used toward the approval of new drugs. Please know that only about 5% is used for drug safety research. Nearly half of the $400 million dollar budget for the FDA is supplied by the pharmaceutical industry. We are merely dollar signs to the industry, which wants you in the system for revenue and aims to keep you in the system for increasingly more revenue. Ninety percent of health care professionals are rewarded by pharmaceutical companies for pushing drugs. But there are about 10% who believe in true wellness. If this is happening with the FDA, you can bet it's not the only corrupt section of the government.
It's time to stand up and unite against such mass destruction of the people. We do not have to live like this; be subjected to such deceit. If we could use the resources on productive methods instead of destructive methods, our world would be much happier and healthier. I am very close to the medicaid system and welfare system. It is designed to oppress people, not lift them up. There is a better way. The way this country is moving is absolutely disgusting. I am sharing this story not for attention but to open peoples eyes. I am deeply ashamed of what I have been through, but if it helps one person, it is all worth it.
K
Monday, October 28, 2013
Think For Yourself
Question everything.
As a parent, one of the greatest gifts I can give to my children is to instill in them to question everything. But when I say 'question everything', I don't mean from a place of ego. When I question things, it is no longer because I think I am superior or right. It is because I seek the truth. Too many times we take things at face value. We assume that our boss has our best interest. We assume that the govt has our best interest. We think that other people ultimately have our best interest at heart. This couldn't be further from the truth. Some people truly thrive on taking advantage of others (it gives them power) and some people take advantage of you with some sort of unconscious reckless disregard for other human beings (unawareness of their actions). How many times have you been burned when you don't question the situation? Don't let your ignorance be someone else's power. Be aware of false knowledge.
I am not asking you to be a cynic or bitter, but simply seek the truth for yourself.
Peace and love,
K
As a parent, one of the greatest gifts I can give to my children is to instill in them to question everything. But when I say 'question everything', I don't mean from a place of ego. When I question things, it is no longer because I think I am superior or right. It is because I seek the truth. Too many times we take things at face value. We assume that our boss has our best interest. We assume that the govt has our best interest. We think that other people ultimately have our best interest at heart. This couldn't be further from the truth. Some people truly thrive on taking advantage of others (it gives them power) and some people take advantage of you with some sort of unconscious reckless disregard for other human beings (unawareness of their actions). How many times have you been burned when you don't question the situation? Don't let your ignorance be someone else's power. Be aware of false knowledge.
I am not asking you to be a cynic or bitter, but simply seek the truth for yourself.
Peace and love,
K
Sunday, October 27, 2013
My first ever blog.
I guess maybe I should explain why I have chosen to come here, and pour out my heart and soul. Not for kudos or recognition, but to connect with others, and ultimately myself. I hope to spread love, not hate and simply share where I have been and the mistakes I have made. I guess to put it simply, I'm just learning to be the real me.
"Out of clutter, find simplicity." -Albert Einstein
I guess maybe I should explain why I have chosen to come here, and pour out my heart and soul. Not for kudos or recognition, but to connect with others, and ultimately myself. I hope to spread love, not hate and simply share where I have been and the mistakes I have made. I guess to put it simply, I'm just learning to be the real me.
"Out of clutter, find simplicity." -Albert Einstein
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