28,000 days

This may be just me, but I've learned over the years that when the universe is trying to tell me something, I'll usually "get the message" in more than one way.

One of these "messages" for me recently is that, on average, we only have 28,000 days here on earth. Wow, that sure doesn't seem like a lot.

I kid you not, I have heard this stat 3 times in the last 24 hours from unrelated sources. Ok, I'm listening...

Let's face it... we have such an unhealthy obsession with money. So, maybe this will put it in perspective for some. If at birth, we were given $1 for every day we were to be alive, in one lump sum, like say $28,000, and you were supposed to spend one dollar every day, how would you choose to spend that dollar?

Would you give it to someone that doesn't value and appreciate your dollar? Would you be reckless with your dollar? Would you use your daily dollar to slowly kill yourself with drugs, alcohol, or food? Would you attempt to hoard your dollars? Would you keep yourself from really living based on fear that your dollars will one day run out? Or are you in denial of the dollar, like if you pretend it doesn't exist, you no longer have to deal with it?

Or...

Would you enjoy that dollar everyday? Would you be giving and generous with that dollar? Would you create memories and moments with that dollar, as that's all we ever have. Would you take in what each day and every dollar had to offer with childlike ease, wonder, and love?

The thing is, every day we wake up and get to spend that dollar, we are beyond blessed. We have been granted the ultimate choice. 

We have the choice to really live in each moment. Somewhere along the way, a lot of us forget this lesson. We get to paint on the canvas of our life in each day. We have the power to choose our life, all it takes is awareness on how we spend our moments.

Today I'm choosing to honor this lesson and live in the moment.

Xo,

K

Valentine

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I'm sure most parents are scrounging around at the local drugstore buying Valentine's supplies for their children's classrooms, just as I was today. Some of us procrastinate this task, because let's face it, it's not that important to us. It's just some candy and paper cards that will get thrown in the trash. But I propose, that as parents, we look past our cynicism, and encourage our children to be giving.

I wasn't the type of girl/teenager/young adult that knew I wanted to have kids. It wasn't some burning desire that I had. It wasn't my thing. I'm not exactly the perfect housewife/stay at home mom. I'm no Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. But I will tell you that being a parent has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Parenting, to me, has been the greatest education I could ever hope to obtain. There is real insight and perspective that comes from creating and shaping a human being. (I'll have to dedicate a post to this very topic...)

One thing I have always done as a parent is encourage my daughter to give. I wanted to raise her with a generous spirit, that would make the world a little brighter. Obviously I helped her at an early age, with making cards, coloring pictures, or buying a gift. I would guide her with whom and why to give. But as she has grown older and developed her own personality, I encourage her to do giving acts on her own, to be thoughtful and creative, and to give for no reason at all. Even if I don't necessarily agree with her act of giving, like those penny jars for the vague charity at the supermarket checkout stand, I still encourage her to have the giving spirit in her heart, no questions asked. It's not for me to judge, right?

So I guess this is why I have grown love all the fun holidays that kids celebrate at school. You see, children are born naturally kind, generous, and giving. Think about it. Don't your kids always give away little things that they make? I have a drawer full of crafts, ripped out coloring book pages, notes, and drawings. All of these were made out of pure love for me. My daughter and the neighbor boys are always making bracelets for each other on the rainbow loom, giving each other pretty rocks they found, and exchanging drawings/notes. Taylor and her girl friends from school are always giving each other little gifts and notes. Children get such joy out of this exchange. Yet most of us as adults get stressed out around holidays and the thought of gift exchange.

We have become so jaded to the art of giving. We do it out of obligation. It stresses us out. Did I spend enough? I can't afford to be giving. Is so-and-so going to spend the same amount on me that I spent on them? All of the above are awful excuses, folks. At some point, we lose our natural, innate desire to be kind, giving, and generous. We let it be about the money. We get guarded and cynical. We adopt a scarcity mentality that there is not enough to go around.

Now you see why I enjoy being a parent so much. I would have stayed stuck in that scarcity mentality. I would forever be a cynical Grinch. I never would have seen the truth that giving isn't about what us jaded adults think it is. Giving is about having love in your heart for another, and desiring to show that person in any way you can that you appreciate them. What a beautiful lesson.

xo, 

K

                                                                                     

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

I had a big "aha" moment tonight while picking up dinner from a local pizza place.

So lately I have a huge sensitivity to gluten. I have to tell you that being married to a chef and being a total foodie, this has thrown a huge wrench in my lifestyle. Anyway, there is a local pizza place in my town that has a really good gluten-free pizza crust. This wonderful discovery has been the silver lining in my latest dietary restriction adventure. It's been a foggy, gloomy day in Colorado, and my favorite new treat sounded like an awesome idea.

I called in the order for my "special" pizza, and another normal pizza for the rest of the family. It's a small place in the corner unit of a tiny strip mall. There are about 10 tables, a patio, and a walk-up counter off the kitchen to pick up to go orders. This place is locally owned and operated, and many times, you will find the rough-around-the-edges, Chicago-native owner running the front counter.

Tonight, there was a young lady working the counter/dining room. My guess is she is around 19 years old, maybe a little older. She had a long blond ponytail, and was wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt. When I walked up to the counter, I could see that she was obviously in the middle of delivering an order to the one table that was occupied in the restaurant. She was short with me, but I chalked it up to maybe she was having a bad day.

When she was finished, she handed me my two pizzas. I gave her my credit card, and slipped a five dollar bill in the empty tip jar on the counter. (I have spent most of my life in the restaurant business, and feel very strongly about tipping.) After I signed my credit card slip and handed it back to her, she simply walked away and started on another task. She didn't say "thank you", "have a good night", or "thanks for coming in". She said absolutely nothing.

For about 2 seconds, I'll be honest, I was a little ticked. Not that I ever would, but I wanted to say something, or even worse, take the money out of the tip jar. (Awful, I know.) I am not expecting grand accolades for giving her a $5 tip, but it was something I didn't have to do, I chose to be giving in that moment. Her blatant dismissal of my gift stung something in me very harshly. In that moment, it dawned on me why our world is in the shape it's in.

People are not as generous and giving as they should be because some people ruin it for all of us by not being appreciative. Let me be clear that this is about so much more than money or a tip. There are so many different things that someone can give of themselves to another to show love, acceptance, appreciation, empathy, understanding, forgiveness, etc.. Don't let the action get lost in our twisted love of money. Giving material things is (should be) simply an extension of an innate desire to GIVE.

But now I know better so I do better. I know that in my life, I have been that girl more than once. I am working on being gentle with myself, so I don't berate myself for my mistakes and instead make a mental note that I don't want to take other peoples' generosity for granted. I released my anger and instead chose to learn a little life lesson in that pizza place.

My wish for you is to not let a select few ruin your giving nature. Continue to be giving, and don't forget to appreciate others when they are giving to you. Don't get frustrated that some people just "don't get it". Instead, choose to focus on the joy of giving and receiving love to others, and release your expectations of reciprocation. If you get reciprocation in a moment of giving, that is so awesome! If not, know that you did the right thing, and move on to the next beautiful moment that life has to offer.

xo,
K