Valentine

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I'm sure most parents are scrounging around at the local drugstore buying Valentine's supplies for their children's classrooms, just as I was today. Some of us procrastinate this task, because let's face it, it's not that important to us. It's just some candy and paper cards that will get thrown in the trash. But I propose, that as parents, we look past our cynicism, and encourage our children to be giving.

I wasn't the type of girl/teenager/young adult that knew I wanted to have kids. It wasn't some burning desire that I had. It wasn't my thing. I'm not exactly the perfect housewife/stay at home mom. I'm no Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. But I will tell you that being a parent has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Parenting, to me, has been the greatest education I could ever hope to obtain. There is real insight and perspective that comes from creating and shaping a human being. (I'll have to dedicate a post to this very topic...)

One thing I have always done as a parent is encourage my daughter to give. I wanted to raise her with a generous spirit, that would make the world a little brighter. Obviously I helped her at an early age, with making cards, coloring pictures, or buying a gift. I would guide her with whom and why to give. But as she has grown older and developed her own personality, I encourage her to do giving acts on her own, to be thoughtful and creative, and to give for no reason at all. Even if I don't necessarily agree with her act of giving, like those penny jars for the vague charity at the supermarket checkout stand, I still encourage her to have the giving spirit in her heart, no questions asked. It's not for me to judge, right?

So I guess this is why I have grown love all the fun holidays that kids celebrate at school. You see, children are born naturally kind, generous, and giving. Think about it. Don't your kids always give away little things that they make? I have a drawer full of crafts, ripped out coloring book pages, notes, and drawings. All of these were made out of pure love for me. My daughter and the neighbor boys are always making bracelets for each other on the rainbow loom, giving each other pretty rocks they found, and exchanging drawings/notes. Taylor and her girl friends from school are always giving each other little gifts and notes. Children get such joy out of this exchange. Yet most of us as adults get stressed out around holidays and the thought of gift exchange.

We have become so jaded to the art of giving. We do it out of obligation. It stresses us out. Did I spend enough? I can't afford to be giving. Is so-and-so going to spend the same amount on me that I spent on them? All of the above are awful excuses, folks. At some point, we lose our natural, innate desire to be kind, giving, and generous. We let it be about the money. We get guarded and cynical. We adopt a scarcity mentality that there is not enough to go around.

Now you see why I enjoy being a parent so much. I would have stayed stuck in that scarcity mentality. I would forever be a cynical Grinch. I never would have seen the truth that giving isn't about what us jaded adults think it is. Giving is about having love in your heart for another, and desiring to show that person in any way you can that you appreciate them. What a beautiful lesson.

xo, 

K