I had a big "aha" moment tonight while picking up dinner from a local pizza place.
So lately I have a huge sensitivity to gluten. I have to tell you that being married to a chef and being a total foodie, this has thrown a huge wrench in my lifestyle. Anyway, there is a local pizza place in my town that has a really good gluten-free pizza crust. This wonderful discovery has been the silver lining in my latest dietary restriction adventure. It's been a foggy, gloomy day in Colorado, and my favorite new treat sounded like an awesome idea.
I called in the order for my "special" pizza, and another normal pizza for the rest of the family. It's a small place in the corner unit of a tiny strip mall. There are about 10 tables, a patio, and a walk-up counter off the kitchen to pick up to go orders. This place is locally owned and operated, and many times, you will find the rough-around-the-edges, Chicago-native owner running the front counter.
Tonight, there was a young lady working the counter/dining room. My guess is she is around 19 years old, maybe a little older. She had a long blond ponytail, and was wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt. When I walked up to the counter, I could see that she was obviously in the middle of delivering an order to the one table that was occupied in the restaurant. She was short with me, but I chalked it up to maybe she was having a bad day.
When she was finished, she handed me my two pizzas. I gave her my credit card, and slipped a five dollar bill in the empty tip jar on the counter. (I have spent most of my life in the restaurant business, and feel very strongly about tipping.) After I signed my credit card slip and handed it back to her, she simply walked away and started on another task. She didn't say "thank you", "have a good night", or "thanks for coming in". She said absolutely nothing.
For about 2 seconds, I'll be honest, I was a little ticked. Not that I ever would, but I wanted to say something, or even worse, take the money out of the tip jar. (Awful, I know.) I am not expecting grand accolades for giving her a $5 tip, but it was something I didn't have to do, I chose to be giving in that moment. Her blatant dismissal of my gift stung something in me very harshly. In that moment, it dawned on me why our world is in the shape it's in.
People are not as generous and giving as they should be because some people ruin it for all of us by not being appreciative. Let me be clear that this is about so much more than money or a tip. There are so many different things that someone can give of themselves to another to show love, acceptance, appreciation, empathy, understanding, forgiveness, etc.. Don't let the action get lost in our twisted love of money. Giving material things is (should be) simply an extension of an innate desire to GIVE.
But now I know better so I do better. I know that in my life, I have been that girl more than once. I am working on being gentle with myself, so I don't berate myself for my mistakes and instead make a mental note that I don't want to take other peoples' generosity for granted. I released my anger and instead chose to learn a little life lesson in that pizza place.
My wish for you is to not let a select few ruin your giving nature. Continue to be giving, and don't forget to appreciate others when they are giving to you. Don't get frustrated that some people just "don't get it". Instead, choose to focus on the joy of giving and receiving love to others, and release your expectations of reciprocation. If you get reciprocation in a moment of giving, that is so awesome! If not, know that you did the right thing, and move on to the next beautiful moment that life has to offer.
xo,
K
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