There Is No Grey...

Recently, one of my girlfriends and I were talking about a dilemma she was having. At the end of our conversation, she said, "My mind is telling me one thing, and my heart, another. I don't know which to listen to."

The old me would have immediately answered before she had the chance to finish her last word, "...I don't know which to listen t..." 

I would have shouted, "MIND." I absolutely, unequivocally would have defended logic with intense fervor, as the answer to all of life's problems. It didn't matter. Black was black, white is white. There is no grey.

I used to think there were basically two types of personalities in this world, logical and emotional. I thought logical people were more highly evolved "thinkers" of the world, and I thought emotional people were just super-creative, artistic "out there" kind of people. Now don't get me wrong, I have always appreciated art: culinary art, beauty, music, literature, dance, theater, etc. It was just so foreign to me. I didn't have that spark, that inner fire; the passion to create love and beauty.

I've always been logical. Too logical. I was always drawn to math because it was so finite, so black and white. In logic, there is only one way. I have been called Spock, cold, detached, analytical, "too serious", complicated, perfectionist, and this list goes on. I like things I can see for myself, and have never understood the abstract in life. I have always loved reading (non-fiction, of course). 

Books were my true escape. I loved the knowledge and lessons people spread through books. Yet somehow I was always in awe of these creative writers that could express such beauty. My language was so robotic.

I loved music too. All kinds of music, from Blues to country, to rock, to Latin, to hip-hop. It amazed me how musicians could write with such imagery about the meaning of life (from love and friendships, to heartache and despair), and still make it relevant and cool. I have never been "cool". I know now in my personal reflections it was because I was unrelatable and detached. I loved watching musicians, especially local musicians in a smoky bar that do it for their love, not for the money. I could never sing, play an instrument, and definitely not write lyrics. Again, amazingly gifted people, and I could not relate.

My perspective has shifted, as I now see the Creative ones are more highly evolved. They get the power of beauty and love. How frustrating it must be to deal with the knuckleheads of the world like me that don't get it. Sadly, us knuckleheads are stubborn and unwavering and think we are "right" about the world. 

Hundreds of years ago, (and centuries prior) we valued people with such gifts. We considered them Elders - they were the medicine men, poets, humanitarians, philosophers, spiritual leaders, old politicians (that gave a shit), and true scientists (Einstein) of the world. We listened to their capacity to meld the mind and the heart, which is a lost art on the world today. It seems creativity is increasingly becoming tainted with the illusion of fame, power, and wealth, even in our politicians. But this isn't what creativity is for. Philosophers can feel the emotion of life, and pair it with the scientific knowledge, to create the deepest of meaningful, wise thoughts. Chefs innately understand the profound healing power of real, whole food made with love. Painters know the healing power of just being with the world, appreciating the beauty around us, and documenting it from their unique perspective. Musicians get how moving wisdom is when paired with a beautiful melody. they know the healing power of creating a culture that values appreciation of what each of us can create and bring to the table.

I now realize after "checking myself" that I was wrong. Deeply, profoundly, insanely wrong. I'm glad I learned this lesson before this particular conversation so that I could answer, "Heart. Baby Girl, listen to your heart." The Creative ones have it right...

PS - Did you know that some of the antonyms of passion are suffering, hate, aversion, and antipathy? I had no idea either.

K