Scars

"My Scars tell a story of where I have been; they don't dictate where I going."

I am getting my 3rd and 4th tattoos tomorrow, and I am so excited. I must not look like the tattoo type, as people are shocked that I have and enjoy tattoos. I was actually asked by a dear friend last week why I liked tattoos. She wasn't asking from a place of judgement; it was just so foreign to her. I smiled and responded that all of my tattoos have deep personal meaning about a life lesson I have learned, and that it helps me by "feeling" the pain through the tattoo process itself. Plus, I like having a visual reminder of my lessons; as I have gotten older, I now see the value in 'scars'. To me, tattoos are truly beautiful displays of the inner soul, an outward personal expression, not only reserved for inmates and biker gangs.

I looked up pain in a Google search. Wikipedia defines pain as an "unpleasant feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli." 

Wiki also goes on to describe how the pain mechanism works between cognitive and sensory functions (mind/body). 

"Pain motivates people to withdraw from damaging situations, to protect a damaged body part while it heals, and to avoid similar experiences in the future."


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Then I got to thinking about the pain thing. I have been re-reading my all time favorite book, The Mastery of Love, by don Miguel Ruiz. Below is a synopsis from the publisher:

In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, he shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships. Using teachings from the three Toltec Masteries (Awareness, Transformation, and Love) as a foundation, don Miguel brings to light the fallacies and misplaced expectations about love that permeate most relationships. He gracefully shares his wisdom through delightful and engaging stories that clarify each point and bring his message to life.

The book uses an analogy of a planet full of people with painful wounds on their skin. If someone touches another, accidentally bumps a wound of another, the first person lashes out at the second because it hurts! This is where we are in our current world. We all have so much pain from different experiences and traumas, and we are in so much pain that we can't see outside of the pain, or even begin to empathize with how others may be feeling. And because we are currently living in a world FILLED with pain, we then try to numb it or put it on another because we cannot handle it ourselves. We do this through alcohol/drug abuse, shopping, food, abusive relationships, adultery, and my least favorite, prescriptions. The number one reason for doctor visits in the US is for pain. Yea, I know first hand how bad pain can be. Go ahead and read my past blogs...

My point is this: We all have pain. It's a part of life. It's how we choose to express our pain that matters. I have recently discovered that writing immensely helps me release my pain; being on 15 different prescriptions does not. (If you truly need prescriptions, please continue to take! I just didn't need them!)  I would encourage everyone to find a creative, healthy way to release their pain instead of self-destruction or projection onto others.

And I love my tats, even if they aren't visible to the world. For me, they serve as a daily reminder of the pain I have been through, and the strength I hold. When you see others in the world that you may not understand, just know that (hopefully) they are doing their best to manage their pain. Love them anyway!

"Choosing not to lash out and release your pain, and instead choosing to feel the pain is very courageous."
-Gary Zukav

Much Love,
K