The Tiger Within

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
-Proverbs 15:1

I had a hard conversation with my 19 yr old son this afternoon regarding anger. Unfortunately, my son and his father are going through the quintessential tumultuous father-son relationship (ie-they don't see eye to eye on ANYTHING). As an outsider, I can see the core of their problem, and it's very simple. They simply are two different people that speak completely different languages which in turn creates mass confusion on both sides. Throw in the fact that they do not speak the same language. My husband is very action-oriented, where as my son is more emotion-oriented. They simply do not understand each other, and it's neither one of their faults. Have you ever been traveling and attempted to communicate with someone that speaks an actual other "language" from your first language? Have you become slightly emotional (ie-frustrated) because they weren't "understanding" you? Have you, ahem, found yourself raising your voice and increasing your intensity?

I explained to my son that at it's core, their mutual anger was repressed negative emotions over the years from their failure to "communicate" effectively. I said, "Anger is a very natural, passionate emotion but its like a wild animal with only instinct, no reason. Control that animal instinct with your intellect to know better. But release it because it is energy, powerful energy. Write, sing, workout, draw, but please do something to release the emotion."

My talk with my son had got me thinking about emotions, especially because I have always been "passionate" or extreme in my emotions. An emotion is a biological (has energy), subjective (influenced by personal feelings), and conscious (being aware of) expression. So, it is some sort of energy that is controlled by our emotions, and we know it! 

There are two extremes of emotions, what I call the "passionate" emotions. The excited extremes are: ecstatic, energized, aroused, bouncy, nervous, perky, and antsy. Conversely, the Angry extremes of emotions are irritable, resentful, miffed, upset, mad, furious, and raging. There are obviously "grey" emotions that are in between that energetically are more neutral such as: fulfilled, content, mopey, blue, sympathetic, or tense. When you experience these emotions, they are not quite as intense.

Emotion is derived from a French word. It means to stir up. When you stir up the energy in your body (meaning the two extremes of the passionate emotion), it's important to release said energy. My son always asks me how he can control (ie-release) the anger. I personally highly recommend punching bags (because it works wonders for me). But I know my son's language; I know his gentle spirit is better suited towards creating something beautiful, like writing or singing. He is a beautiful writer that evokes such emotion and imagery. And he loves music. So inside I secretly hope to myself he takes my advice to write; maybe he can become a song writer someday.

As our conversation ends and he tells tells me, "Thanks. I love you." I answer, "I love you, too." And my heart smiles wide. I immediately thank my creator for bringing this incredible young man into my life, and for this lesson in life about the power of love.

 And then it dawned on me that you will always find what you seek I have recently discovered that I currently have everything I ever wanted: a wonderful, supportive family, a loyal circle of friends, enough food in my family's mouth and clothes on our backs, and to just live! Just because it isn't exactly as I had imagined, it's even more beautiful.  So I recommend that you, a.) be careful what you seek and b.) don't turn away that which you have been seeking when you find it if it isn't in the package you expected.

Live in Simple Abundance,
K